Live the Life Outside of the Expected

The Essence of Selflessness

With time it seems that life changes before our eyes but until we really open our hearts the changes can go unnoticed.  It is beyond challenging for me to grasp that I have been in Uganda for 6 months now, living this life of pure beauty.  It seems that my heart, my soul, and my way of life has blossomed beyond anything I could have ever expected.  The people I have met, the places I have gone, the experiences I have encountered, and the roads I traveled have become alive within me. I believe this mission came to me when I was very young to live some of my life in Uganda; it was a calling in which I was destined to respond.   At times I find it difficult to put into words the new perspectives I have gained, the lessons I have learned, the feeling of the Lake breeze, the warmth of the Ugandan sun, the blanket of the stars, and even the tangible embrace of life itself.  I have never felt so alive.  I truly feel that life is of its own essence that we are here day in and day out with the Grace of the Lord to inhale the goodness in which we prosper and to exhale the challenges in which we may encounter.

This past weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to attend the final vows of 5 professing young men to join the Holy Cross Congregation and the ordination of 4 of the young men into their new chapter of being Deacons.  I cannot fully explain the feelings that accompanied me throughout those couple of days.  Watching these young men make such a profession of faith to always put others first, to take a vow to live a life of poverty, and to promise to always uphold the mission of giving whatever they may have to offer to anyone who is in need filled me.  The inspiration of being completely selfless touched the depth of my soul;  to live a life of pure selflessness is the way of life in which I encourage myself to lead, however it seems to be much easier said than done.  But we too can give to one another, we can let go of the things in which we think we want and instead provide for the ones who truly are in need of our assistance.

My personal life has become more real, in a sense that I feel completely present in every happening throughout the day.  Not just going through the motions of a day to day routine, of the “same old same old” but sincerely squeezing the juice out of every moment of every day.  I have tried to implement the idea of looking outside of myself, placing myself in others shoes to try and see how they see me.  Being human we tend to have the capability of becoming lost in our own image, in how perceive ourselves, and we forget to walk in our neighbor’s shoes from time to time. For me, my life here is a journey in which I will continue to live forever in Uganda and forever in my heart.  For others, my journey has become a part of their lives.  These people who I have met, who I have become close to, who I have blessed to be friends and sisters with have let me in to their lives, to their homes, and to their hearts.  It’s important that we remember that it isn’t always about ourselves; it’s about being together, living together, and working together as one. ONE LOVE.

These last few weeks of visiting the Jaaja’s (Grandmother’s) in Ntiankalu have been overwhelmingly authentic.  I am no longer a visitor; I am a part of their lives.  I am no longer Tereza the mzungu, I am a member of their group.  Listening to them discuss who will take care of the goats, who will take care of the pigs, who will be the chairperson of our new project of the table mat making, how much money they will contribute to their village savings bank, etc…this is a very real and determined group of women and I cannot say I have had any impact in their approach to self-sustaining their own programme.  I simply am present, supportive, and available. 

As time scurries on, I too find myself scrambling around for time.  I feel there is so much that I need to do, that I need to say, that I need to implement.  The anxiety of the feeling of never having a enough time seems to overcome me…I find myself wanting to work all day and stay up all night just to try and accomplish the tasks in which I feel could be of some use to someone somewhere…but then I have to remind myself, that we have been given so much time in one day because there is only so much we can do, as hard as that is to accept, I must.   We have to organize, we have to plan, and we have to be reliant in whatever it is that we are trying to accomplish.  However, we must keep in mind also, that we are merely on this earth for some short time and throughout our busy days we have to take the time to slow down, to enjoy the beauty in the fact that we cannot always accomplish everything on our list of “to-dos.”  That day in and day out we don’t always have to have a check list of things that we must do, but to keep our lives open so that our destiny can take us to better places than we ourselves could have tried to reach.

I have become good friends with a Seminarian here who seems to always want to have a set programme, and as he is new to Uganda, he too will figure out that life here is on a different timetable…a different approach….a different agenda.  In Uganda or at least in my Ugandan life I have realized that we cannot always expect to keep time, to reach the places in which we were expecting to go, or to see the people in which we were hoping to meet that day.  It’s possible that the lifestyle will forever impact my approach to life regardless of where I am…when things don’t go the way they had been originally planned it’s not personal, it’s not an insult, it’s not purposeful…that’s just it, it’s the way of life here, and I find that seems to fit me so well…that sure having a plan can be beautiful, having expectations can sometimes be a priority, but in the larger picture of this opportunity to LIVE I have found and now thoroughly believe it’s more important to be open to what unexpected gifts may come my way, to encompass the bumps in the road in which nearly can overturn my entire programme, to be loyal to my faith, and express my feelings/opinions from the wholesomeness of my heart.  

I will soon be updating you all on the upcoming events I have planned for when I am visiting my home country, in the meantime please consider supporting Lazarus Community and offering your prayers so that we can continue to strive to be self-sustaining.

May blessings surround you always,

Mbagaliza emirembe,

Anne Therese   

The Rhythm of my Heart

                                                                                                                    “Tereza, you first come…”

Yesterday Kaaja Henry, Aiida, and I headed to our weekly Ntinkalu visit which resulted in an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction, happiness, and pride.  There were over 35 women present diligently working on their crafts and discussing various issues.

Watching these women meticulously work on these crafts: table mats, floor mats, baskets, hand purses, necklaces, bracelets, and earrings I could sincerely see the fire in their eyes that is becoming increasingly brighter.  I have noticed that as time goes along, the women seem to feel more confident, self-satisfied, and proud of the work that they are accomplishing individually and as a group. 

For those of you who are not aware I will be heading to the US for nearly 4 weeks during the month of September…so the reason for this welcomed pressure results in the fact that I have asked them to produce as many crafts as they can so I will be able to carry them back to the US to sell.  The women were beyond alert, asking questions, showing me their success in how many they have made thus far…ah, the environment was itching with the desire to create.

As the women continued to work they were also holding their weekly meeting discussing other events that are happening in the Community.  This past Saturday St. Francis Health Care Centre donated 4 goats to our group and it turns out two of the four are pregnant!  Now, St. Francis (who is not directly partnered with Lazarus Community…at least not yet, as I like to say) has donated 6 pigs and 4 goats.  As I was talking with the women yesterday I said…and look at us, our group is growing with new members…oh how the women cheered! They then said….”and Tereza, you have been here nearly 6 months…you are truly becoming a resident of Ntinkalu!!!” Ah, I tell you, I could not have been more flattered.

One of the main topics discussed was who would take turns caring for the goats daily…as we have around 25 Muslims in our group, they are not keen on looking after the pigs so after much debate and expressed opinions, the group decided those who were not taking turns looking after these pigs, would be responsible for taking care of the goats.  They also discussed constructing a very simple shelter for these goats until we have enough funding and our own land to build a more stable infrastructure. 

Another subject deliberated regarded their loan development scheme.  They presented to Kaaja Henry (one of the founders) and me their constitution: “The Constitution of Ntinkalu Jaaja’s Loan Development Scheme NJLDS, 2011” One of the mobilizers, my namesake Tereza actually went to pick up the Constitution from a locked space where they keep special documents…and you should have seen her smiling face when she handed it over!  I was beyond impressed.

The proud feeling did not stop there…last week I had asked if a few of the women would feel comfortable writing a short biography of themselves in order to better tell their own stories.  I told them that even when I could try my best to tell their positions in life, they themselves could do it much better than I.  About an hour or so into our visit, the Chairperson was handed several papers at once…and slowly slowly (mpola mpola) all were collected and handed over to me…38 of the women had written on small notebook papers the information in which they are willing to share with the rest of the world…I was beyond honored that so many had taken the time to write these letters.  Ninety-eight percent of these letters were written in Lusoga, so as I will need help translating, I will also be brushing up on my Lusoga speaking skills! You may find some of these letters both in Lusoga and English on our website once it is up and running!

As if this wasn’t enough, they told me they have selected a Loan Committee and a Garden Management Committee…so as I was taking pictures of these proud women, we decided to take a couple of group photos. “Tereza, you first come, we want you in the middle so we can surround you with our love and blessings”…ah, the smiles that were present were sincerely priceless.

It is challenging for me to put into words how Blessed I feel…how far we have come as a group, the potential we have to expand, and the strength that is renewed to keep pushing forward…My heart is truly filled with comfort, bursting with joy, and overcome with pure honor to be part of such a dedicated group of women.  These women, more than they have come to realize, have inspired me, motivated me, and helped me to realize with full certainty that the rhythm of my heart is and will always be one with theirs. 

I pray that each of you finds such comfort in the various fields in which you are working.

Thank you for your continued interest and support in Lazarus Community!

Much Love,

Anne Therese

My namesake Tereza!

Organizing goat upkeep

Available for purchase!

Garden Committee

Loan Committee

Kaaja Henry

 Floor mat mid-process 

Collecting the letters

Love and Blessings

Foster the People

As for me, my cup overfloweth

Talk about unexpected blessings….with each new day something new and beautiful comes my way…and I believe that if each of you were to look you too would find that this is true.  Somehow I have been blessed with forming such wonderful relationships and it seems with each new friendship formed, a seed is planted, a perspective is gained, confidence grows, the heart expands, and love presents itself as unconditional.

Just yesterday I was invited to join some of the candidates, Priests, Sisters, and Brothers for a lovely picnic right by Lake Victoria.  The scenery was beautiful, the environment was booming, and everyone was intertwined …it was incredible.  Instead of coming prepared to eat, they brought all the materials needed to prepare the meal.  Each candidate, Sister, Priest, Brother had their own set agenda…the compound broke off into different sections…those preparing the goat meat, pork, fish, matooke, chips, rice, etc…we even were graced with a candidate’s DJing talents, so the music was thriving.  People were playing football, dancing, a few people went for a swim…pictures were taken, jokes were told, and laughter filled the air…”my cup overfloweth”.

When I was on the ride out to the picnic with a coaster full of seminarians yesterday, I sat next to Paul who is the youngest candidate of all present…who wisely told me at 19 years of age…”You have to choose what you want to do with your life, otherwise, someone will choose for you…” Which, as we all know is true, however, how often do these words come to us.  For me, it was a perfect time to reach my ears and enter my heart once again.  His wisdom rekindled me in such a way that I was filled with confidence that I have chosen the right path for my life…if you give, you begin to live.  

I have also tried to make connections with two different local organizations here in Jinja town, I find it vital to form such partnerships with people right here in Uganda…I only pray something beneficial comes from our meetings…however, it seems that I have crossed paths with these two organizations in the same week for a reason! When there is a Will there is a Way.

The women of Ntinkalu have been also blessed with 2 unexpected goats…so now we sincerely are growing! We now have been given 6 pigs and 2 goats…the women are also working towards saving for a dairy cow…they were given 200,000UGX but need between 350,000-400,000UGX for a dairy cow….hopefully we will soon find a way to purchase this beast of potential to generate some small income! It is beyond impressive to see these women come together, to share their ideas, and to watch them work.  They are coming a long way with their crafts as well! I have asked them to try and design mats the size of table mats to try and market a product that could be original to Lazarus Community…I plan on coming home with as many as they can produce and while I am visiting the U.S. in September you all will have an opportunity to directly support Lazarus Community!

May we all support one another!

Many Blessings and Much Love,

Anne Therese

Brought to my attention

So, it has been brought to my attention that I made a pretty serious mistake in one of my last posts in regards to how much land per acre costs here. I have just been given an estimate today directly from the members of Lazarus Community.  In the village of Ntinkalu (where we have our weekly meetings) the prices could vary in regards to who we are looking to purchase from...
However, it seems that an estimated one acre of land will cost us around:
7,000,000 to 9,000,000UGX which equals $2,800.00 to $3,600.00USD ($1.00USD=2500UGX)
...Therefore to reach our goal of purchasing around 5 acres of land it will be quite costly (roughly $16,000USD; keep in mind this doesn't include equipment for tilling or seeds for harvesting).  Our new vision may be, although we do not want to hinder our ambition of one day owning 5 acres of land, is to perhaps start with aquiring one acre at a time...the challenge with this approach however, is that when we are able to purchase another acre+ of land it will more than likley not be directly associated with our first plot; yet, we still will pray to be fortunate enough to reach our goal.
Ode to Lazarus Community: you are filled with endless potential!
Thank you all for your support!
Love and Blessings,
Anne Therese

Not the typical blog post

The Power of a Human Being

These days it seems time is rushing, I am not sure how I have already been here for five months. I look back and I feel like a totally different person (in the most positive way) since I first arrived...all of my experiences thus far have truly helped me realize all the potential that we have as human beings in the way we can relate to each other, help each other, benefit each other, work with each other, and be with each other.

Sometimes in life it seems we are blessed with unexpected people or events that even if we tried we ourselves could not have better planned the timing.  This past week I have been staying with a dear friend of mine in Kampala for the initial reason, I thought I may have had “the malaria” whereas it turned out it was only “worms.”  However, as we were slowly walking from her flat to a place with a free wi-fi connection we stumbled across this banner posted on the fence outside of the Ugandan Museum.  As I was winded and weak from the walk, my friend walked in to inquire about the upcoming week events where she learned that later on in the evening a short lecture about literature in Uganda was going to take place.

Walking home for our day of “work” we stopped by the Museum to check out the event for the evening.  We listened to Ugandan writers give public dialogues of their own short stories and poetry and we were then introduced to a professor from Lancaster who was there to lead discussions in writing workshops throughout the week.

When I first heard him speak about his passion for writing and his love for Uganda I was beyond inspired…I wrote down direct quotes and took notes as he spoke and little did he know that right then and there he was positively impacting my approach regarding research and ignited a new passion for writing.

Two days later we went back to the museum for a book launch where we came in more personal contact with the professor and experienced another unplanned event.  We were invited by another “mzungu” who has been living in Uganda for ages now who was attending a dinner party and he invited us all to join him.  So there we were, driving along to a restaurant where we met a Prince and Princess of a tribe in Uganda, the oldest mzungu living in Uganda (96 years old), and other beyond welcoming people.  We were served a delicious dinner and entertained by live music.  Throughout the night we enjoyed one another’s company, questioning and being more open with each other than one would expect. Perhaps it was because our meeting circumstances were so unique and we were all open to sharing our life stories with each other, that throughout the night even more lessons were taken away.  Throughout the week we met a couple more times and each time I took more away from our time together.

It’s beyond powerful when you meet someone you never knew existed who can sincerely impact your life in more ways than one.  The conversations throughout the week have brought a renewed sense of self, new ideas, endless possibility for potential, etc.  If only I carried around a tape recorder I could have been able to more fully invite you into this past week and my current thought process would more than likely make much more sense to you.  However, because of this week, I have made some significant decisions in my life, become more calm about the unknown, and open to a much more open future in research, work, and writing.

The Professor quoted, “there is no story that is not true…” and this line continues to stick out to me, because even if we know that what we are reading may be based on opinion, fact, be-it non-fiction, or fiction, fable or article, perspective or idea, etc. somewhere to someone that is how the story unfolded.  It makes so much sense to me that here I am writing to you about my experiences that I have had here and there you are reading and interpreting my time here in your own way and to each thy own we all take away something different.  This is true in any situation in our daily lives.

Another beautiful note I took was “going from observation to a relationship with a country…” and at first I was an observer, an outsider, a visitor, but now I am here, I am involved, and I am known among my current contacts, networks, and friends…I have gone from observing to having a relationship with Uganda and this is a relationship that will always be within me.  When I was younger I knew I was where I was, growing up where I was growing up, attending school, learning new things, meeting new people, but my mind was also wandering off to foreign countries, foreign ideas, and foreign passion of other cultures and here I am in one of those distant places that I only used to day dream about…it has become a process of exchange; an exchange of formulating thoughts, perspectives, and [distance] learning. 

After this week, I feel now more than ever that time is racing…that the endless possibilities we all have seem to be overlooked because of the limited time we have to even try and reach the potential of what we can do.  I feel that I have been elated with the thought that I will never be finished…that my work doesn’t have to focus on one area of interest, that my mission in Uganda and in life in general can be a mixture of odds and ends that make me who I am…the fact of the matter is, is that I have the opportunity here and you have the opportunity where ever you are to truly impact the lives of others…and the way we can impact each other can improve our own way of approaching challenging, difficult, overwhelming, or even enjoyable situations or scenarios.

A quote I picked up from one of my professors while studying abroad in Rome was this: “the power of a human being….” And I continue to replay that over and over throughout my life and its beyond true…the power of a human being is beyond our knowledge or even our acknowledgement…I feel beyond blessed for this random intervention of a thoughtful, well-spoken, professor from Lancaster who probably will never know how much his presence and words of advice were needed and much obliged.  The thing is we too have the ability to leave such an impression on others just by being ourselves; by being open to sharing thoughts, experiences, wisdom, success, and failures.  To share our talents and gifts with each other or with strangers, we have the ability to sincerely cultivate change.

I always believed that I could “change the world…” then it went to “change the world one person at a time…” but now I realize it’s not necessarily that I want to “change” people, places, or lives, it’s that I long to contribute what I can by simply being who I am to those who are open to receiving and also willing to contribute to me as well. 

I realize this is not a typical blog post, but this is where my thoughts are currently.   I have mentioned before that I want you all to partake in this journey I am living and now that I have been refreshed with the idea of becoming truly intimate with people in a sense of digging deeper than the surface level I was comfortable taking this route.  In fact I am realizing that digging deeper is one if not the only way to truly live…to truly connect…to truly impact.

As I continue to work on project proposals and researching the best way to help Lazarus Community, I am still trying to connect with greater organizations who are willing to help Lazarus Community reach our ambitious goal of purchasing land to start our own community garden and to eventually move into the market place...I pray that somehow in some way we will be blessed with such funding.   

It's hard to believe that I will be home in less than two months...hardly seems as if it could be true...although in my heart (even though I am nervous and anxious to head to the US for a few weeks) I can settle my anxiety with the fact that I know I am coming back to Uganda after a short visit at home...I know for a fact that if I were leaving UG for more than a few weeks I would be trembling...I truly have fallen in love with this country, the people, the experiences, and the way of life... I honestly believe that I am meant to be here at this time in my life...and I could not be happier with the way things seem to be panning out...

Thank you all for your continued interest in following my mission as well as for your prayers and support.

My love is with you,

Anne Therese

Donations are always welcome!!

If you are willing and able to contribute to the mission of Lazarus Community you may make your contributions to "Land for Lazarus" at any PNC Bank location or even online at www.PNC.com
The account no. is: 4804541193


From the members of Lazarus Community:
 "May God bless you and your families.  Thank you for believing in us."

think twice about the dollar menu

Do unto others as you would have them do to you…

I realize it has been sometime since I have updated you all on my current adventures…and for that I apologize.

There are many things going on here in my life that I find myself lying my head down at night running through all the things that I did not get to that day as I am sure many of you have felt the same way…however, it is important we keep in mind that we must do what we can, with what we have, where we are…and that we must take time to rest our bodies and minds.

Since visiting Kigali I have had many different experiences, some more challenging than others and I have begun to recognize that these various events are what make up my daily life.  As I have said to many people along the way, I always knew in my heart that I would come to Africa…as one may ask why, I will simply answer, because I have always heard “the call”…did I know exactly what I would be doing, where I would be going, who I would be with, no of course not, but here I am.  Yet, the intentions that I had are nowhere near the expectations I am beginning to realize Africa has in store for me.  

All of a sudden it seems that I have much work to do…people to contact, partnerships to form, information to research, and results to publish.  I have now been here for 4.5months and still feel I have not done nearly enough.  The obstacles I come across are those in which I am sure many of you have had your fill. 

The reality of the matter is there are people…women, men, and children waiting for me.  They are waiting for me to provide something for them, waiting for me to make the right connections, waiting for me to help them.  It seems that it is not enough to be present, and I did not come all the way to Uganda to merely be present, I came to “make a difference.”  Starting right away with visiting each member in the sub-county of Wairasa which resulted in visiting 61 members, I was not sure exactly what it was that I was supposed to be doing.  We went for nearly three weeks to four, five, six homes a day and I asked each woman the same 10 questions…from there I started my own journey.

I remember thinking, as I often find myself still questioning, how in the world do I begin to actually piece together all of the information gathered, ideas offered, address the needs of the community, etc.  After the first two months it became clearer, I wasn’t asking the right questions…of everything I had learned I had essentially failed to use one of my most vital lessons…help me to help you.

As many of you know I have recently been working on our current project “Acres for Lazarus,” which essentially involves fund raising to purchase our own land to cultivate our way into the market to generate income.  Simply to purchase 5 acres of land, near the villages of our members will be roughly 800,000sch ($330.00 USD) which doesn’t include all the necessities to develop it into an actual garden…However, from this simple idea much has been tagged on and I have become overwhelmed and distracted looking too far into the bigger picture.  I guess this is where I have been, instead of keeping you all updated, I have been lost in thoughts, reading, contacting, researching, etc., ways to tackle the route to success.

However, as the days go by, I realize that good things come with time and if we truly want Lazarus Community to be sustainable starting small may be the best pace for us.  Yet, raising enough funds for 5 acres of land, tools, equipment, seeds, and materials needed for a piggery, still adds up.  My prayers continue to seek for assistance, guidance, and knowledge.  Trying to write a grant proposal to spin in any which way a potential donor may be interested in has been tricky and has taken much time.  I am still trying to find different organizations to apply to with funders who may be interested in supporting a small Community Based Organization in the most impoverished district of Jinja, Uganda.  Meanwhile, I continue to collect ideas from my two colleagues, Henry and James, the original founders of Lazarus Community which convinces my understanding of the expectations they have of me.  Henry and James started Lazarus Community in 2008 and have since been paying out of pocket for any such expense…fuel to travel to and from Wairasa County, burials, food, soap, materials for our crafts program, health care, hospital bills, etc. and I now can see from the expressions on their faces that they are eager for our prayers to be answered.

The more time I spend with the women of Lazarus Community I continue to see more potential, different ways we could support these women, various approaches to help improve their quality of life along with their standard of living…and as the wheels always continue to turn, I sometimes do not see their immediate needs.

Currently, the most important issue to address is the famine among our members.  The draught has left the women of Lazarus Community and their children/grandchildren with very little opportunity for income let alone food.  There are days that these women and children eat mangos as their only source of nutrition…our Wednesday group continues to diminish because the members can no longer be away from the home during the afternoon because they have to go seek for something to feed their families.  I was talking with Henry just yesterday and he said that 1 kilo of posho (cornmeal flour mixed with water) is 2,000UGX (less than $1.00 USD) and feeds nearly four people for one meal.  However, depending on the size of the family, sometimes 2 kilos are needed for one meal which is less than $2.00 USD.  If I were to receive help from anyone of you, I could purchase 150 kilo of posho for roughly 270,000UGX ($115.00) USD which would estimate 3 kilo per member meaning that we could provide a meal for 50 members and their families. 

I continue to try and wrap my mind around my reality…that with the smallest donation you can seriously feed a family…I would always see advertisements on the television or read them in the newspaper but I am here to tell you first hand, that it is true. 

This is why again our project “Acres for Lazarus” is going to be beyond effective even if at first it is simply a source of nutrition for our members…if it takes a few planting seasons for our garden to bring in income for our members so be it…the foremost important issue to be addressed is that the women that I am working with, the women and children that you all are praying for, do not continue to suffer from the on-going famine.  When I leave those women, even to head back to my village, I know that I will at least have rice and beans to nourish me…and these women, these children, they have very little…ah, my heart is heavy.

What to do? Feed the hungry…clothe the naked...well, here is our chance…

 Perhaps the lesson learned here is that even though we may have certain intentions, there will always be more expected of us…and we should always expect  more of ourselves…to never set limits on our capabilities, our good fortune, or on our love.  To actually follow through with my mission, which I continue to become more familiar with as the days go by, I must produce…I must prosper…and I am asking you to come along with me…to support, to provide, and to care for the women that are now not just in my daily life but in yours as well.

May the Lord continue to bless each and every one of you…and may you harden not your hearts.

Much love to you all,

Anne Therese