It takes one to know one

24.May.12

“It takes one to know one…” what does that exactly mean and where in the world did that phrase come from?

“It takes one to know one…”

Once I allow myself the time I do recognize that the world brings me to its own destinations in which it wants me to experience at that moment, at that exact time in my life, in that certain place, and with those particular people.  Regardless of all the ways I could dream up some situation, role play a meet and greet, or talk my way through some unforeseen predicament it never pans out exactly the way I planned it; nothing ever does and obviously you go getters, adventurers, nomads, wonderers, and wanderers don’t need to hear that from me.

“It takes one to know one…”

Imagine seeing four misplaced people riding on the side of a busy road, passing by them in a speedy vehicle heading towards the next big city, and fantasizing about where they are going and where they have been…and about three hours later you find them in your friends garden sitting around all laughing and talking about their most recent adventures and their past escapades.  I’ve never lived that life before…of course I have been the one sitting on the fast vehicle towards the next city, envisioning where these people who I pass by in an instant are going but never have I had them swiftly become very much a part of the next few days of my life following that passing by experience.  Unexpectedly, we all found each other there, in the garden, getting to know one another, eating, breathing, living, celebrating the time we have all had in Uganda and elsewhere in the world...and suddenly a few days later we all disperse in our own directions, back to the road and back to the life we led before we all met.

It’s the small things really that came about from being in their presence that provided me with some leeway about what it is that I am doing or trying to do with my young life.  Funny how I only spent a few days with them and now I feel that I somehow can picture myself journeying with them.  These young men came into my life at an ideal time…as I am moved and inspired by their adventures that they will forever hold within the very depth of their souls, I was able to see my own journey in a different light.  Since having met them, I have met myself all over again and will be in debt to them for ages because the person that I met was the person that I have seemed to have lost along the way somewhere.  If the stars where to ever decide to line up our pathways again I would be more than grateful for their presence which has provoked me and aligned me with my next expedition that seems to have been waiting for me to recognize its capacity for well-being for quite some time.

These young men are absolute legendary game changers: Chen, Tom, Buster, and Jimmy: I owe you heaps of gratitude and an unconditional open door to where ever you may find me.

“It takes one to know one…”

For quite some time now I have found myself even more of roller coaster than usual; some days I was willing to accept it and other days I was more than willing to push it into some dark, dusty, corner full of cobwebs space in my world.  However, today I embraced what has been crawling across my mind for what seems to be ages now…feeling sometimes as if it were slippery snake moving too fast to grasp it and other times crawling with such intense claws that the pain caused me to jump ship.  I feel compelled to share that looking into the eyes of those who I have not seen for a while was like looking into an abandoned home.  As if all has been misunderstood resulting in feeling a bit lost and a bit broken.  You know, trying to meet someone’s expectations of you is challenging enough, but not knowing that someone has expectations of you and being told that you never met them is way worse.

 I’ve never been so keen on trying to reach other people’s expectations…like the professor who would neglect to read into my opinion because it didn’t match his, or the artist who said my masterpiece wasn’t good enough because it didn’t appeal to his artistic eye…expectations come from within and if you’re working with someone then they come together as a compilation of what is expected of each other.  It’s quite hard to meet someone’s expectations if they are never set out to begin with and to then be accused for failing to succeed is simply unjust.  However, it seems that these injustices come with very tangible results for the soul…results for the mind…and results for the beginning of the end.

 I live and learn quite well, actually it may be one of my best traits…to live and learn…and that is exactly what I have been doing with my life for the past 15+ months in Uganda…well, in all honestly, in last nearly 25 years of my life.

“It takes one to know one…”

Have you ever felt you were in place that could ideal for a timeless photograph, or in the presence of someone whose life could be a best-seller novel, or how about in an environment that simply blows away any perfect vacation spot you could have ever imagined?  Today, I sat in a very small room, dirt floors, mud and brick walls, filled with 8 individuals crowding around our dear friend Kauma who was run over by a bull.  Now Kauma is beyond a strong woman, full of zeal and zest, as well as stubbornness and attitude…she definitely holds a very special place in my heart.  This afternoon when we heard that she was in much pain due to this unexpected incident and we went to visit. 

There we found her, tiny, tiny, tiny, as if she went from petite body image to a childlike form yet she was strong.  She was there telling her story of what happened…not knowing that she was bleeding and in pain after falling over from the bulls hit…she kept walking him to where he was to be grazed and when she came back to shower she was covered in blood and could be barely stand the throbbing discomfort.  After walking herself to the clinic she found no one, then on to the next clinic where she was directed elsewhere, finally reaching the hospital where she was not treated for more than 6 hours…she was at last given morphine for the procedure to stitch up her wounds which was not strong enough so she felt each and every stitch through her upper thighs.

And there I was, sitting on a small stool with my sandals on my feet because as I tried to enter by removing them as is custom here, the women told me to keep them on.  I was just listening, watching her expressions, hearing the women’s responses to her story and having my friend Afuna Mark translate for me…as if pushing aside my challenges into the corner space of my world makes sense to me at times, here’s Kauma struggling to sit up after being run over by a bull, wondering how she will provide the next meal for her four orphaned grandchildren…the world wanted me there, life wanted me in that one room hut today in her presence to bring me back to what it was I came for…

“It takes one to know one…”

I suppose one could say it takes a nomad to better understand a nomad’s perception of the world

I suppose one could say it takes an adventurer to better understand the next adventurer’s quest for adventure
I suppose one could say it takes an artist to better understand an artist
I suppose one could say it takes a realist to recognize a realist
I suppose you could say that about anyone and anything……….

But what do people really mean when they say it takes one to know one…does it take one to know one through that person’s own expectations of what that one should know? Or does it take one to know one to simply recognize that one is one to begin with in which the one wishes to know?

You don’t have to be a cyclist to know one

You don’t have to be a world traveler to know one
You don’t have to be an addict to know one
You don’t have to be a musician to know one
You don’t have to be a shepherd to know one

The list is endless, endless, endless……………………..

You don’t have to be anything to know anything about anything unless you want to be someone who knows someone about someone…rather let’s hope you are someone who wants to know about someone else simply for your sincere interest in getting to know who they are rather than expecting to know who they are because they seem to be who they are because of what they are.

You can be someone, your own someone and you can know someone their own someone.

All of these lessons, all of these ducks, all of these stars, are lining up simply to provide the realization that no matter what I expect, what I initiate, what I plan, what I hope for, what I look for, what I want to do, what I am doing, where I want to be, what I am, where I am, where I’m going, where I’ve been, who I am, who I’ve been, who I am with and who I have been with is simply what makes me me and that ladies and gentlemen…that is what takes one to know one…it takes myself to know myself…it takes yourself to know yourself…and one day myself will know yourself and together we will be knowing each other.

Cheers to the people along the way that we had no idea existed and now play an ever important role in our lives.

Love and Peace to your souls,

Anne Therese

Within my Personal self

Coming from Within

Since the beginning of my original mission I didn’t have a set plan; a plan in which would take me from point A to point B to point C and so on.  Honestly, I haven’t really been much of a planner in my entire life, however; I do like to set goals and as many of you know by now living here on this side of the world has always been my number one goal.  Yet, by not necessarily having a “set plan” I find myself continuing to extend my stay here in Uganda and there are days that I find myself repeatedly asking ‘why?’

Is it the lifestyle?

The freedom?

The journey?

The ease of moving from here to there?

 Is it to embrace these constant challenges that I was not expecting to come up against?

Is it because I just don’t want to move on yet?

Ladies and gentlemen, I have yet to find the answer…and as cliché as it sounds perhaps U2 has it right when they sing

“And I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…”

I could not be more grateful, more honored, more blessed or more in debt to all of you who continue to pray, to talk, to inquire, to donate, and to follow my journey.

Of course when I came here I knew that every day, every person I met, every experience that I would encounter would change my perspective, my views of what I thought was, and of course my heart…and absolutely everything that I can think of has sincerely changed me….yet again I haven’t always been so keen on changes…so here I am not so keen on planning and not so keen on changes…but I am about to enter my 14^th month in Uganda and I can most certainly tell you that I am not the same person I was when I boarded that plane in February 2011.

Even though I may not be so accepting of changes, I am accepting of the idea of transforming to change.  I had someone recently tell me that I am simply procrastinating…that I am procrastinating to join “reality…” what is reality anyhow?  Just because I am living here in Uganda, East Africa for who knows how much longer, doesn’t mean that my life is any less real here than it would be if I were in the U.S.  Perhaps that’s another thing that has set my mind running: “procrastinating to join reality…”

This life of mine that I am leading isn’t just some experiment or some dream that I have reached and will one day leave behind…no, I’m afraid that this here and now is my reality and that is why I am not just yet ready to board that plane to head back to the U.S. to join a life that perhaps waits for me with glory and sunny days but I know myself (most of the time), and I feel in my heart that I still have some life to live here.

Seems as if this entry is all about me…a lot of “I this” and “I that” when my mission was to come here and work with and for Lazarus Community…however, I cannot be so successful if I am in place where I have yet to find a balance between me and this life.  Perhaps I can’t explain as well as I would like to, or offer you the words that could somehow lead you through this web of a masterpiece in my mind…rather I’d hope to find the words that could lead me from my mind to my heart.

As I have told you before someone months ago said that I was thinking too much with my mind and not enough with my heart and sorry to say but I think I have failed to find that path or at least a stable pathway from my mind to my heart.

I have met people along the way here that have become my friends, like a second family…one or two that inspire me perhaps more than the others but isn’t that the way it is sometimes.  I haven’t lost who I was but I have certainly gained more than I was expecting to make me who I am on this very day.  This day that is actually quite chilly, grey, and quiet and not so typical of what I am used to here in Uganda (how perfect for this entry). 

There have been people along the way that have shared with me that “I will just know…”

That I will just know when it is time to move on

That I will just know that it is okay to feel that I have done all I could with what I have

That I will just know that sometimes life has a different “plan”

That I will just know that the moment has come to accept what I may have known all along

Right now I am within one of those “I will just know” bubbles…I know that I am ready for a change, more challenges, and different surroundings…however, I also know that I am not just yet ready to head back to a life I know awaits me and I can’t avoid…not that I want to necessarily avoid it by any means, but the fact of the matter is, I know that I have the unconditional love and support from my family and close friends…and they too know me well enough that one day “I will just know” and when I know…they will be there to welcome me.

We can’t live up to other people’s expectations all the time; we shouldn’t change who we are just to keep hold of something that once gave us comfort; we must never give up something that we have always had within us…that something that makes us who we are…transformation to change, sure, but on the other hand…there are certain aspects of who we are, what is embedded within our individual souls that will never change...and we must be strong enough to embrace what makes us unique.

Lately, I have not been so good at keeping up to date and here I am babbling and baffling your minds with such words that could honestly be used as splatter paint to cover a canvas entirely of mixed colors.  One of those paintings that provide people with the opportunity to take it as they will, discover themselves within it, or get completely lost in its original intention.

Even though I may seem distant at times my dear ones, I am here, I am available, and I am always loving and appreciative of your loyalty.

The last few adventures that I have been on have been quite different than the rest; trying to figure things out, saying goodbye to friends who are heading back to their other lives outside of Uganda, searching for ways to continue on, sitting in places I never knew existed, connecting with people whose lives are completely different than mine yet feeling so secure, and doing my best at trying to cherish every single moment of every single day regardless if it makes sense to or not…

Please continue to be who you are, keeping your own shine on within, and loving one another for who they offer themselves to be…

Many blessings and Much love,

Anne Therese

March Madness has started early this year

Remember Every Aspect Life Improvises Through You.

I cannot make up enough excuses as to why I have been absent in my writing lately.  I hope those of you who do follow my blog site also follow the blog I have on the Lazarus Community website: www.thelazaruscommunity.org I have been keeping up with that blog weekly, sometimes even twice in one week.

Since I last wrote to you, even though I haven’t been on any “traveling” adventures, I have been on several small personal adventures which have led me to do much personal reflection and have given me some time to process a few thoughts.  However, with the hustle and bustle of my days what progress I do seem to make sometimes is lost and I start all over again.

But as some say, “such is life” and this is why we continue to grow as individuals.  When I was in the west for a few weeks in Kyarusozi working/shadowing in the health care clinic and walking through the hallways and in and out of primary school classrooms I discovered that I wasn’t necessarily there to provide but to receive.  In those few weeks I found myself in a different sense that I have found myself since being here, and even though that self was found…she is somehow lost again; yet during those days I had some clarity and understanding with myself in terms of a timeline of my UG life.  Most of my afternoons I spent alone, reflecting, resting, thinking, writing…I read back on some of my journal entries and feel like those words and thoughts seem so distant.

It’s challenging to take things in, this life, every single day and every single night and truly appreciate every ounce of it.  As I have shared before there are many differences in the lifestyle that I have here than I do in the States.  That is one of the major concerns I have…it seems that I have to choose a lifestyle and I am not yet sure how to do that successfully (however, I am doing my best to being open to combining both lifestyles when the time comes).  I have shared some of these thoughts with family and close friends and they all have wonderful and sound advice to give but it takes the person, it takes me, to truly connect and figure out what it is that I am looking for, holding out for, and trying to sincerely accomplish.

Of course my mission was to come here and help with Lazarus Community and I have absolutely never worked in such conditions before…lately there seems to be many challenges resulting in being confused and somehow misunderstood…but don’t get me wrong, the work that we have accomplished together has benefited the women in more ways than one, just like they have benefited my entire life in more ways than one. However, I also came here, unknowingly perhaps, on a personal mission in which I am still trying to define.

When I was west I formed a very dear friendship with Sr. Mary DeNardis who is growing older and will be heading to the US in June…and even though this is challenging for her as she shared with me a few times she said, “things change when you grow older and sometimes you just have to accept them…” needless to say I have reflected on that statement quite often since.  She also shared, “you should not become static in your ways…” and that’s beyond true.  With many other lessons that she nonchalantly taught me during those few weeks, I left there with much to think about and have yet to come to fully discern on each one…when will I truly ever learn; then I think to myself that life is a lifelong lesson and then I am satisfied for the time being.

Every time I write one of these blogs I realize that I cannot believe it is such and such a date: 5. March. 12 really?! How did that happen…where is the time going…what am I doing…how much longer do I have here…how much longer do I want to stay here…how much longer am I able to stay here…what am I staying for…what am I holding out for…sure, to make sure Lazarus Community is sustainable in its own way…but what else am I doing? There are all sorts of questions running through my mind…it’s a roller coaster in there and perhaps that’s why I have neglected to write…because I am in mid-process of trying to collect myself.

Talking to my two dear friends who have both been gone from Uganda for over three months now…I can see the changes…I can hear it in their voices, read it in their words…am I ready for that? Not that they are so totally different or that I do not love them now as dearly as I did when they were here…but going from one place to another changes you…of course it does…and yes although I said, “you should not remain static in your ways…” sometimes I struggle to be comforted by change.

If things go as they are somehow planned, and I mean, somehow…then I will be heading to the States in about 4-5 or so months…and that just seems way too soon for me…but is it?  I am not sure how to answer that question…yet this morning over tea in town with a new visitor to Uganda from the US but who has lived in Peru the last 12 years said to me…”you have to make sure you are spending your energy where it should be spent…you have to make sure you are using your gifts and talents where they should and can be spent…and sometimes when you have such questions, out of nowhere the answer just comes to you. You will know, believe me…in the last couple of days of getting to know you, I see that you will simply know when it is your time…you have already invested so much time here…make sure you invest in yourself…”

And that goes for all of us…in regards to our jobs, married lives, single lives, student lives, home lives, etc…make sure you continue to invest in yourself as well as your loved ones, friends, career, home etc.

I sincerely am trying to connect, reflect, meditate, and understand myself…why I do the things I do, etc. However, I do believe that sometimes we do things that we will never understand…and that’s okay.  In the mean time I continue to question many different things about my life…my young life…this beautiful life…praying that I do not wake up one day to have discovered that too much time as slipped away while doing all of this reflecting.  At times I take that to heart and do things, and try things, and make decisions…but it’s about being balanced…balancing my hopes, desires, dreams…and reality…reality, eh, I have never truly loved that term…yet how else do we phrase this present day…this present moment…this is my reality.

Perhaps I just have to take advantage of what I need and can while there’s time and give and share what I can while I am still able…Life…it’s truly its own masterpiece.

Sorry for the delay again in sharing with you all…but as you can see my mind is a whirlwind of random thoughts however…I will continue to do my best to keep you all updated on my journey…my adventure…my life…my reality.

Below are some random pictures of these last few weeks!

Hope to hear from you soon…

Much love and many blessings,

Anne Therese

 

Outside Fort Portal house on the veranda

Fort Portal front room

Nursery Students

 

Primary School

 

Time for some fun!

 

Lining up for some porridge

Who needs a school bus when you have a boda?

 

My friend Nikki and me on NYE

 

Beginning stages of our pig shelter

 

Check out our website!

www.thelazaruscommunity.org

 

Meet my new Lazarus Community parnter: Mulwanyi Eric

March Madness

and the earth came to life

Perseverance

It was a pretty quick and easy decision to make in regards to purchasing my visa and trekking permit on the web after a couple of my friends offered me the idea of climbing the Nyiragongo Volcano in the DR of Congo.  Those of you who know me well know that I jump at the opportunity to live life on the edge and experience new things and places if I am able; I know for a fact that the risk taking/travel bug will always be crawling on my soul.

Even though I hadn’t received word that my visa to cross the Uganda border over to the DRC had been approved, we all jumped in a luxurious van at 6am on Friday the 6^th of January to head towards Kisoro, Uganda (10km from the DRC-UG border).  “Luxurious van” is no joke…all of the seats reclined, we had a freezer (which we stored our goodies in after shopping in Kampala on our way out), a coffee and ice maker (which we didn’t put to use) and plenty of leg space; we were set.  Our friend and driver Robert was an excellent companion to have along the way.

We reached Kisoro after a 12 hour drive, winding around hills and mountains, dodging falling rocks, and sifting through the dust.  After we checked into our small guest rooms (we looked for space in three different places) we rested a bit, showered up and went looking for supper.  Just down the road we found the Golden Monkey with an appetizing menu…it was around 845pm…ten minutes later our waiter came to us and asked if we could wait until 11pm, needless to say, we moved on.  We walked a bit down the road to find Graceland where we had surprisingly delicious curry and a couple of cold Clubs. 

We woke up Saturday morning hoping that my visa pass would be in my inbox but it had failed to arrive so we walked to a little coffee shop where we enjoyed cappuccinos and café mocha’s.  Around 2pm we decided to throw in the towel as it would have been too late and somehow dangerous to drive to Goma (capital city of DRC).  Therefore, we decided to take advantage of our stay and walk around to the different pubs around Kisoro (which is literally a street) and try out the “local” brews.  We started at the Golden Monkey and tried Mutzig (which I have enjoyed before in Rwanda) and then down the street to drink a Primus (Rwanda beer) and then stopping at Graceland for a Smirnoff and chicken.  We did the best we could to pass the time, enjoying each other’s company and sharing stories to entertain ourselves. 

Then we had to be realistic and decide what to do; as many people back home do not work on Sunday’s we knew the office that was handling my visa would not be able to push it through until Monday and we couldn’t wait until Tuesday to climb…so we made the decision to try and cross the border and be ready to climb Monday.  Luckily, Davey, one of my traveling buddies has a friend who lives in Kisoro and he had a name we could contact to help us through the challenge of getting a DRC stamped on my passport.  In the morning we met Safari Innocent who milked as much as he could out of us while “helping” us cross the border.  We first paid him for the visa stamp, went back and forth talking to the Chief of the Congo border where they talked to us individually and finally after three hours and a bear hug from the “top dog” I was given a stamp and we were allowed to cross.

However, we were unable to proceed with our plans to visit Goma (as they would not allow me to enter the city apparently) and we were told we could not travel with our own vehicle.  So they put us up in a small “hotel” just across the way where we were rushed to make decisions as to what to eat and when, when we would be leaving, when we would be paying to stay, etc.  A couple hours of lazing around the place, and setting up our own transport from the hotel to Virunga National Park, we went to set out for a look around the area.  Suddenly, low and behold Safari showed up and took as around…we went to a small pub after winding through the tiny “town” where we sat at a table that was placed in a small three walled concrete space and a tarp as the fourth wall…we talked and revisited our recent measure of reaching where we had thus far.  Then dinner time came and of course Safari escorted us back to our “hotel.” We walked into a room where they had set up our dinner…hen and rice…and to our surprise there were not three chairs but four where Safari posted up and took as much dinner as he liked…very interesting.

After supper we crashed early and woke before the sun was up, to Safari waiting for us, and our transport arrived.  Luckily, Safari didn’t join us on the journey to the Park…farewell Safari.

The ride from where we were staying, just at the border, to Virunga National Park was nearly three bumpy hours, where there are literally “no roads in the Congo.”  As we bounced around and looked out  window, I couldn’t help but feel a sincere difference right away between Uganda and DRC.  To me it seemed grey and eerie.  It’s hard for me to describe but the houses were much different, there were randomly placed two story houses here and there, the “stages” were entirely different than Uganda, people clumped together here and there and then for a few kilometers there seemed to be no life around at all.

Driving wildly around potholes and other obstacles we watched lorries filled with people pass us by…not quite sure where they were going or where they came from but I have never in my life seen so many people sitting on top of mysterious packages…we passed these truck loads frequently.

Finally, we arrived at the “Park” where we found hardly anyone spoke English, but after signing their registration book, eating a small sandwich at the bottom of the hill, organizing how many porters we would need to carry our bags, we set off, just like that.

Walking into the forest, over rocks, up and down, winding through the trees, the sun was surprisingly hot.  We were told we’d have four stops along the way and that the hike up would take between five and six hours.  The first stop came more quickly than I had expected, the second as well…but after that second stop up we went…walking on top of broken up lava which was by far one of the trickiest things my feet have done since being here in East Africa.  After what seemed to be a never ending hill of lava remains I looked up and saw the peak of our lovely destination far above.  From below she looked like a hill, one in which didn’t look so challenging, but after resting at our third stop we knew we were in for it.  Thunder started coming along and we thought we’d “hurry” to try and reach before it came…ha, hurry.

The further we went the more steep our climb became, no more lava rocks or tree stumps but a combination of everything.  We stopped before our fourth stop at some small little shack to escape the drizzle.  Luckily, it seemed we had climbed high enough that the storm missed us and we were able to carry on after a 20minute break.  The last stretch…wow, we were literally walking vertically.  In my entire life, I have never felt as if I was walking straight up; the guides simply seemed to think that we were professionals as they went along their merry way.  The last stretch, though it may have been the shortest in distance as we could see the cabins in which we would be staying took us the longest.

And all of a sudden, there we were. We had reached…they showed us where we’d be staying the night and we set down all of our things and looked down…woa, we had come a far way.  After settling in for a bit and lying down, Emmanuel our front guide knocked on our door; it was time to meet Nyiragongo face to face.  We climbed just a couple of feet and there we were at the crater of an active volcano.  I was stunned…the sound of the lava rang in my ears as if we were standing next to the ocean.  We couldn’t see her lava very clearly at first as she was blowing steam/smoke…1000 meters down; we were staring at the largest lake of lava in the world! We stood up there for nearly one hour and then Emmanuel told us to climb back down to our cabin, eat something, and then again we would go up and see her in all her glory after dark.

In our little cabin we had a small gas burner were we heated up milk that came from a box and took tea…a bit later Davey heated up one of his “mountain ready” meals…where all you have to do is add boiling water to a bag of dried vegetables and rice and we all dug in straight from the bag with our spoons.  After resting a bit, Emmanuel was back again…this time we really layered up.  When we looked up, the sky was a magnificent red…a red sky in which I have never and may never see again.  We reached and looked and there she was; waves and waves of lava crashing together…boils and steam flowing from all directions. There was no rhyme or reason to her activity, she was just alive…live earth burning…just waiting, as if she had a secret…laughing silently that soon she would erupt.

To the left was a full beautiful white moon and in the distance, far off, we saw lightening…stars in the   sky…Goma lights twinkling as if they would survive generations to come (sincerely the next Pompeii).  Despite the coldness (four pairs of socks, stocking cap, two scarves, three coats, two pairs of pants, and gloves), we watched her in awe for nearly two and half hours.  Taking photos, I tried to capture one of the most beautiful and epic scenes I have ever seen in my life.  I couldn’t help but think to myself that yes, this is where I am meant to be; 11,000 feet high in the sky, literally standing at the crater rim of an active volcano, listening as if to hear her breathe, watching the movements of boiling life, seeing different things, imagination flowing rapidly and wildly like each new wave of lava crashing into the other; sincerely breath-taking. To experience such an amazing creature of this world, to be standing at the crater rim in the DRC, having climbed 11,000 feet, eh, it was an adventure I didn’t see coming yet there I was, there we were.  Three of us coming from different backgrounds, one year ago we didn’t even know of each other’s existence yet we had just climbed to the top of a volcano and now we share lasting memories.

After feeling as if we were going to freeze we walked back down to our little cabin built a small fire and had a small bowl of soup.  Around midnight we decided to rest our bones…sleeping in a cabin, feet away from the boiling earth…imagine. 6am came with a blink of an eye, we woke up to Emmanuel knocking at our door…”come, I am taking you to the sun”…we layered up, grabbed our camera’s…and we literally walked to the sun.  Instead of walking straight up we were walking sideways on the side of Nyiragongo…no railing to keep us from falling all the way down, slipping on rocks, and walking through her steam we reached our destination…the sun was a light yellow and surrounded by dark clouds…the distance was overflowing with white clouds that looked like waves crashing on the shore…Nyiragongo seemed to be resting as only some small smoke was rising from her core.  After taking in the sunrise and the surroundings the best we could…we were escorted down to our cabin and told to pack quickly as we were ready to make the hike down.  It was such a rush and all of sudden there we were slipping and sliding down the most difficult part of our hike up.

After taking our time for the most part, we reached the small shack we stopped at the day before to catch our breath but not nearly for as long as we had rested the first time.  And off we went…on the way up the day before I found myself thinking and having time to try and imagine my life…where I am currently, where I have been, where I may go…all sorts of questions popped up and I tried to allow myself the time to reflect.  However, the climb down did not provide such room for thoughts…instead of contemplating my “next step in my life” I was literally searching for my physical “next step.” 

And there I found myself placing one foot in front of the other trying to avoid making the wrong choice which could have easily led to a twisted ankle or a chance to fall.  And I thought to myself, maybe this is one the best lessons I have learned along the way thus far…that there is only so much I can do in trying to plan the “next step” in my life…but right at this moment…I can only focus on what is in front of me.  All other distractions disappeared and there I was in the current moment looking for the best way to protect myself and provide myself with the best opportunity to make it down the mountain in one piece. And of course we did after only stopping briefly along the way to take a sip of water and photos of our tracks; we reached the bottom of the hill in three hours where we stripped our layers and extra socks and threw on our flip flops to give our toes a chance to breathe. Going from freezing weather to the hot sun was no joke like night and day…and there we were the three of us successful mountain/volcano climbers.

The rest of the trip was a breeze; we checked back into our humble abode, took a shower, celebrated with a cold club, water and soda…met a few wonderful people for supper at the Golden Monkey, shared stories, and went to rest our bones.  The next morning we were on the road towards Jinja at 6am…we stopped at the Equator…the EQUATOR, I type and even say that to myself as if it’s just one more thing we did, took some photos and traveled along our merry way.  We reached in good time, found our friends congratulating us at our success and home to Wanyange I went.

As I reflect now a bit more on the journey…and yes, it was a journey…the experience in itself is one I shall never forget.  You know, these last few weeks I have found myself confused, unsure, sincerely living the unknown.  To be honest, I have never been so free in my life.  Over and over I repeat that living in Africa was my ultimate goal and here I am…again, I failed to think about the “next step” after living some of my life in Africa…and climbing up, standing at the crater rim of an active volcano, and climbing down (along with all the other small adventures within our journey), I felt and still feel as if this place…Uganda, East Africa, what have you…holds so much…adventure, experiences, work opportunities, life lessons…and it’s as I have to decide what kind of lifestyle I want to lead right here and now.

It’s not just the thrill of walking across the Uganda border to the Democratic Republic of Congo, climbing Nyiragongo Volcano, swimming in Lake Bunyonyi, visiting the Rwanda Genocide Memorial, riding on coasters to and from Kampala, sitting on the back of a boda boda on the way to Bujagali Falls, etc. And it’s not just about meeting with my women in Ntinkalu every week, watching them progress in their diligence of truly making Lazarus Community their programme, and searching for better ways to make it sustainable; and it’s also not about visiting here in Kyarusozi (which I just arrived today, Day 1 of my 2 week experience), trying to help start another HIV/AIDS support group and doing administrative work for the Sisters….it’s about living my life. LIVING my life.  All of these amazing, wonderful, unexpected, adventures, challenges, trips, etc., have come together to make up my Ugandan/African life and how do I go from having all of these opportunities literally at my doorstep to deciding when enough is enough?

My mission in coming to Uganda has reached so many generous and interested people, and the potential of truly making Lazarus Community sustainable is sincerely there.  As I continue to fill you in on my different walks of life and trying my best to give you a feel as to what it was like to climb a volcano or walk through the streets of Jinja…what I am really here for is what you all have continued to support…and my heart is simply beyond invested in completing this mission.

The longer I am here, the more I feel that I am called to be here.  The more I experience, the more I realize that this is a life in which I was born to lead.  The more people I meet the more potential I see come from my original mission.  The more I do the more I recognize I should be doing.

The experience of a lifetime doesn’t have to ever end; of course a trip to DRC has designated timeframe, and the adventure will continue to run through my veins…but the experience of living life in Uganda…the feeling of making this place my home away from home…it resides within.  I continue to ask for your prayers…as I continue to discern and look for ways of doing more for what I have come to do…what have I come to do? I have come to Uganda to offer what it is that I have, to remain open hearted and open minded as to what I can do, and to truly invest in what can be done.

I have been in Kyarusozi which is about 30km from Fort Portal (which is what you will find on a map and about 7 hours from Jinja); for two and a half weeks. I just arrived back home in Wanyange (Jinja) yesterday afternoon!  I had been requested to go there to help with administrative work and helping to revamp the Sisters HIV/AIDS support group for positively living individuals…the connection to the internet and even the outside world is not nearly as clear and easy as it is in Jinja…I did my best to record my daily activities so that I will be able to share with you this chapter of my life…that update will be coming soon!

I want to thank you for continuing to follow my journey…for your generosity, understanding, and patience.  I only hope that you too take the time to reflect upon your most recent adventures, experiences, day to day life to see where you are, where you have been, and where you may be heading…you don’t have to climb to the top of a volcano to truly feel and see the beauty of this life.

Much Love and many blessings,

Anne Therese

      Ps- I’d like to welcome home Joseph Ryan Deitchman who has been serving our country as a soldier in the United States Army in Afghanistan for one year…he sas arrived safely in the U.S.; I could not be more grateful for his safe journey home and his selflessness. Welcome home Joey!!!